With all the things that are constantly happening in our lives, it is easy to lose our perspective in the shuffle. At least it is in my case. There is always something going on (and I am thankful for it) whether it is family related: running from one place to another, from one class to another, or getting the kids ready for whatever the case may be (school, bed, classes, birthday parties, doctor’s appointments, you name it), or work related: jumping from one deadline to another, juggling multiple tasks, putting out fires and spending time coming up with ideas all at the same time, it seems as if our focus is always on the next task at hand or maybe on 1-2 tasks ahead to try and get “ahead of the game”.
It is easy to get lost, easy to lose focus on what matters most, easy to devote all our energy on the tasks at hand right at that moment, and easy to focus only on the accomplishment of the immediate goals. The difficulty lies in learning to take a step back, breathe and enjoy the moments for what they are worth. We spend so much time fighting and arguing with our kids to get them from point A to point B, that many times we fail to enjoy the journey — at least I know I do. And it is only during the calm after the storm, in the late nights after everyone is asleep, when I get to think about our day, or when I turn off the radio or the podcasts during my commute and evaluate our weekends, that I realize I may have missed opportunities to enjoy our kids more. I realize that I have wasted a lot of energy disciplining, redirecting, etc and not enough energy on enjoying the laughing, playing, and loving.
Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about each day goes by so quickly. I know every day needs to be cherished more. I think about how after the clock strikes midnight, we no longer have that day. We can’t get it back. And how because of that finality, we need to make the best of each and every day. Live the day with no regrets. Focus on making each other happy, not sad. Focus on enjoying the moment and cherishing that time together. Focus our energy on filling our minds with positive things; the negatives are a waste. Only 24 hours are given to us each day, and tomorrow is not guaranteed.
And even though I think of this often and we have conversations with our kids about it at the dinner table, I still lose my perspective, I get lost in the tasks of the day, and the checkpoints of life. This is why I need to constantly remind myself to live in the moment. Why I need to imbed this into our family values and daily practices. Why we need to make it a habit, and not just a thought that appears from time to time. we need to constantly regain perspective and refocus on what really matters.
It is worth everything.
some pictures from our weekend.
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#Blessed
Before I forget and realize is already the end of 2016, I want to make sure I acknowledge how blessed we feel at home.
As probably most parents can attest, one of the most important things for us parents are our kids’ health and happiness. I pray to God every night prior to going to bed and thank him for keeping all our babies healthy and happy and thank him for the amazing environment and love that surrounds our kids and our family. I pray for his constant protection and ask to keep them healthy and happy throughout their lives.
I can’t emphasize enough how true “it takes a village” really is. So many times we hear from people that they don’t understand how we manage to raise 5 kids and maintain our “cool”. What lots of times people don’t realize is that we are able to maintain our cool and we are pretty chill most of the time because we are surrounded by so many amazing people in our lives. Whether it is our loving immediate family, or our awesome positive and loving friends or our friends at work, we are always surrounded by positive and chill vibes, words of support and more importantly surrounded by love to our kids.
We feel #blessed and we have God and ALL OF YOU that touch our lives in one way or another to thank you for it. I probably have not said this to all of you individually but please know that we constantly feed of the love and positive vibes you send our way. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Needless to say, we feel #blessed we are given the opportunity to raise 5 amazing kiddos that bring so much joy and livelihood to our household.
So cheers to another #blessed year to all of us. May love, health, peace and happiness be with all of us throughout this new amazing year.
Much love from our Happy Number 7.
Business Travel Lessons as a Father of 5
I don’t travel often for business, but the couple of weeks leading to Thanksgiving I had back-to-back business trips.
Traveling sometimes is hard for us because it can be a burden on Becca. Although we have an awesome nanny that is super flexible with our schedule, dealing with nighttime routines for all 5 kiddos can be difficult. Luckily I am never gone for more than 2 days at a time.
I’ve always tried to find positivity in every life situation and in the case of traveling, it is no different. Flying allows me (when I don’t crash for the entire flight) to do things that I usually can’t do while at home due to lack of time. It becomes a “me time” although surrounded by a bunch of strangers.
When I travel I get to make progress on the many books I have on my night stand that I never get a chance to finish, or read my Men’s Health magazine OR one of my new favorite things to do – listen to podcasts! (more of this later).
This past trip I scribbled down on a plane napkin some of the things I was able to enjoy while flying. Although these are things that I tend to do on every trip, I never took the time to acknowledge them or give them the importance they deserve. Here is the list of things I learned/appreciate as a father of 5 kids when traveling.
- I miss/appreciate my kids and wife more: Sometimes we take these things for granted. We get caught in the day-to-day. But not being with my kids and getting pics of them via text from my wife makes me miss them even more. The pictures always put a smile on my face and remind me how blessed I am and how awesome my life is because of them.
- Time for reflection: The above is one of the examples but the traveling “me time” allows me to think – a lot – and helps me reflect about my life, my family, my job, our future, etc.
- Time for planning: Most of the time, for me, putting things into perspective turns into planning for the future. Whether it is thinking about a plan for retirement, or how to make sure my kids are taken care of after I pass, etc. I get some sense of clarity when I am flying and am able to spend time thinking, jotting down ideas. I take a lot of notes and come back re-energized and ready to tackle new adventures.
- Think of ideas to be a better person: This is a combination of #2 and #3 incentivized by some of the things I read or listen to while traveling. For example, this past trip I read a couple of chapters from “The Project Happiness”, read “Men’s Health” and listened to the “Smart Passive Income” podcast among others. I am big on self-help. The time I get to fuel my brain with all these new ideas is awesome and fuels me to become a better dad, a better husband, a better professional and a better me.
- Educate myself: Traveling by myself allows me time to read books, magazines, articles, news, bios, etc as well as listening to cool podcasts and occasionally super interesting conversations with fellow travelers. Every time I travel I learn new things and gain new perspectives on a lot of things.
It’s easy to find the positive in every situation. You just have to look for it.
Cheers!
Napkin with my notes
MONDAY MORNING QB: FATHERHOOD
If there was such thing as a QB rating for parenting performances over the weekend, I think I would have had one of my lowest QBRs yet… As with many other things, admitting it is the first step. And I admit it: I had some really sucky moments this weekend.
Sometimes I get caught up in the whole “parenting” and “disciplining” and set some stupid high expectations for my kids (if Nati read this she would tell me “ooohh you said “stupid”) and sometimes I forget how young they are! Nati is not even 7, Nico is 4 ½ and Santi is 2 ½ !! and I somehow expect them to be crazy well behaved, be quiet when I ask them to and follow directions 100% of the time. Who am I fucking kidding! If it was THAT easy, people would not complain about how hard it is to raise kids! Or how hard is to maintain your sanity when you tell your kids to stop doing something and not even 30 seconds later they are doing the exact same thing you JUST told them to stop doing!
Boom. That was my weekend. I think I could even tweet my entire weekend in less than 134 characters…
Me: Guys will you please keep your voices down? The babies are trying to sleep.
Nati/Nico/Santi: Yes/ok dad.
Me: Thanks!
30 seconds later…
Nati/Nico/Santi: screaming and running around the house chasing each other.
Me (to myself an looking at Becca): What the fuck…
Rinse and Repeat all weekend long….
So needless to say, come Sunday my patience had a very short fuse. I was quick to snap. I think in a way I thought I was trying to stop things from escalating but I don’t think it worked and my lack of patience was definitely the only thing escalating at a fast rate.
Sunday night I went to bed frustrated. A little disappointed at the kids. Monday morning rolled in and Nati and Nico were at it again in the AM. I called them out as they ran by me down the hall. They turned around and I gave them the evil eye… They got it. They knew I was mad and headed over to the table to eat their breakfast.
In most cases, I would’ve chucked that one on the “W” column… however, the sad look they had on their face when they realized Grumpy McGrumpy was at it again and interrupted their fun was not what I wanted to get in return. That moment I realized that in those moments I become the “no fun” dad and even less impressive, the “He’s mad at us, we are going to get in trouble” dad. And THAT one sucks. I don’t want to be the parent they “fear”, I want to be the rational dad that can work everything out with his kids. It was not a good feeling.
That same morning. Before any of that went down. Becca had sent me an article she read at 6am that morning while feeding the babies. Her timing couldn’t have been better. It was such a great eye opening and reminder that kids are just kids and that I need to learn to “chill” more and expect less from them. I should only expect them to be kids. Not little adults. Especially Nati.
Here is the article: http://www.scarymommy.com/the-burden-being-firstborn/
So, I admit it. My QB Rating sucked this past weekend. The good news is that I get a chance to make up for it every single day of my life and you can be sure I will give it my best shot. I will never be 100% but I will work my ass off to get as close to it as possible. I have 5 amazing reasons to do so.
God Bless.
And of course… here are some cute pics/video of the kiddos in action. 🙂
Downhill competition – Home Style from Andres Leguizamon on Vimeo.
DEAR CHILDHOOD CANCER: YOU SUCK!
Earlier this month I found myself distraught over the various stories of how cancer has taken the life of little kids, denying them of their childhood and from living life in general. As a father of 5, it was very emotional. My biggest fear as a father is to have one of my kids diagnosed with a terminal illness, or with a disease that will affect the rest of their lives. I would hate feeling helpless and not being able to do anything to prevent it or cure it, etc… I hate just the thought of it.
When I found myself in that situation, I promised I would figure out a way to get involved and raise childhood cancer awareness…. Although, after some research, the only thing I will be able to do to help the local All Children’s Hospital is to donate some time and toys for the kids in their facility, I have yet to find a method to raise awareness. So, I’ve decided that this is my method. My blog. Sharing my blog post with my Facebook friends in hopes that I can inspire others to help the cause and raise awareness and funds to fight cancer and to fight how the cancer research dollars are being allocated.
This is the story that got me holding back tears as I read through it: http://www.upworthy.com/a-grieving-phoenix-mom-received-the-tribute-of-a-lifetime-from-taylor-swift?c=reccon3 The story of Ronan. A 4 year old that lost his battle to cancer. How f..ed up is that?! A happy little boy was deprived of his childhood. His mom was deprived of his childhood. Devastating. Unfair.
His mom, in all her bravery, decided to share their story via their blog:http://rockstarronan.com/ In her blog, she shares the ups and the downs; she shares the story of how/when they find out and their fight against f..ing cancer. Reading her blog is a lesson to all of us on what things should matter in life.
Because of their blog and their open and honest story, Taylor Swift got wind of it. Being the amazing person she is, she began following it. And after learning about Ronan going to heaven after losing his battle to cancer, she wrote Ronan a song (https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/ronan-single/id560227510) and asked Ronan’s mom if she could perform it live in the SU2C concert in 2012. After being granted permission, she also shared with Maya (Ronan’s mom) that her blog had inspired the song and that she would like to add Maya as a Co-Author of the song; even the profits of the song will go to help the Ronan Thompson Foundation! You can take a listen here:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0J2OF1S3iSI That was the first and only time Taylor would perform that song live until this past August when, during her 1989 tour in Glendale, AZ (Maya and Ronan’s hometown), she invited Maya and her family to come out. With Maya’s permission, she performed Ronan live for the second time ever. Here is her emotional performance from that night! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_0sFiK6XeaA
Now you can understand how vulnerable I felt that day reading and digging more into the story. I could not stop thinking about Maya and Ronan. I could not stop empathizing with her and putting myself in her shoes and feeling my heart so heavy the more I read about it. I could not stop thinking about my kids; thinking about how helpless I am. How helpless we are when it comes down to cancer prevention, treatment, etc. How f..ing scary it is and how little I’ve done to raise awareness about it. So, here is the beginning of my contribution – sharing the story. And also, my promise to my kids that I will do my best to become an advocate for Childhood Cancer awareness. It’s the least I can do. I’d love it if you join me in this battle.
If you want to help, here are 5 ways:
- Donate or volunteer to St Jude: https://shop.stjude.org/GiftCatalog/donation.do?cID=14262&pID=24671
- Donate or volunteer to All Children’s: https://www.allkids.org/foundation/get-involved/volunteer-in-the-hospital
- Donate or hold a stand from Alex’s Lemonade Stand: http://www.alexslemonade.org/
- Download Ronan: https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/ronan-single/id560227510
- Share this story.
God bless you Ronan and Maya. God bless every kid and every parent that is or has battled with cancer. God bless every cancer patient, cancer survivors and their families. God, please bless and protect my kids, my family and friends.
Childhood Cancer: You suck!
“I remember your bare feet down the hallway, I love you to the moon and back” – Ronan, Taylor Swift.
Childhood Cancer Facts:
- Childhood cancer research is vastly and consistently underfunded.
- Childhood cancer is the leading cause of death by disease in children under the age of 15 in the U.S.
- One in 285 children in the U.S. will be diagnosed with cancer by the time they are 20 years old.
- Every year, an estimated 250,000+ new cases of cancer affect children under the age of 20 worldwide.
- Two-thirds of childhood cancer patients will have long lasting chronic conditions from treatment.
- Childhood cancer occurs regularly, randomly and spares no ethnic group, socioeconomic class, or geographic region. In the United States, the incidence of cancer among adolescents and young adults is increasing at a greater rate than any other age group, except those over 65 years.
- Childhood cancer is not just one disease. It is made up of a dozen types and countless subtypes.
CHILHOOD CANCER AWARENESS INFOGRAPHIC
SOURCE: http://www.alexslemonade.org/childhood-cancer-facts
The babies are here! Wait!! What?!? The babies are here! — The arrival
Yes! The twins are here! We are now officially a party of 7!! S@#t just got real!
There are is a lot that has happened over the last week, so I will break it down into preparation, arrival, the other 3 kiddos’ reactions, and our first week as a family of 7.
Let’s start with their arrival which I think is the most important..
The weekend before their arrival, Becca had started to feel some pressure in her belly and started to feel some contractions. They were not very consistent, but contractions nonetheless. When Monday came around, I went to drop off the kids as I do every other day and on my way out of their school, I called to check on B. She said that she was feeling the same and had made a Doctor’s appointment for 11am. We agreed that I would go to work and depending on what the Dr. said, I would go home or stay at work.
After her appointment, she told me the Dr. said that although the delivery process had “started”, it would be best to wait until we got further in as she wanted to keep the babies growing in her belly for at least 1-2 more weeks… With that being said, I headed out to the gym for what was my last workout as a father of only 3 kids…
Becca picked up the kids from school as usual and on her way home she called me to let me know that she was having regular contractions about 10 minutes apart!!! I wrapped up stuff at work and headed home as fast as I could!! All of our babies had been induced so this whole “rushing to the hospital” was new to us (we hadn’t even packed a bag)… Heck! All of this is new to us! We are rookies at everything “twin”…
While driving, I made plans with my mom and sister to drop off the kids at my sister’s house and to have my mom stay with the kids at our place for at least 1-3 nights. As soon as I got home, we packed up everyone and headed out!!
After dropping Nati, Nico and Santi at my sister’s house, we headed to the hospital and after Becca’s evaluation, the doctor said that we were not “fully” ready and that she would like the kids to “cook longer”.. I am not sure if that is what triggered Becca’s labor, but soon after that, the contractions started to spread only 2 minutes apart which drove the Dr. back into the room to let us know that we needed to start prepping for delivery!!! Holy crap…. Reality hit us…we will be welcoming 2 more kids into our home!! Were we ready? Were all of our preparations enough? Did we even bring enough stuff to the hospital to welcome them? … Regardless of the answers, it did not matter, they were on their way!!
After prepping Becca, they called me in. Although I really wanted to look behind the curtain (against every advice not to do so), I decided not to because I did not know how I would react and Becca needed me more than I needed to satisfy my curiosity (if I could handle it)…
At 7:49PM, the world welcomed Emilio and at 7:50PM, we welcomed Alejandro- two healthy baby boys. All was good in the world at that time. Momma was good, babies were good and kiddos were taken care of.
Monday 1/26/15 at 7:49PM, our world changed forever. Our hearts got even fuller with love. That day we became Happy Number 7! Yep, it could be the most challenging year yet, BUT we know that it will be the most rewarding one as well! We are so excited about the adventures and memories that await us.
P.S – the arrival of these little ones have also opened our eyes to how much love we are surrounded with. The positive energy, love and help we’ve received from family and friends (old and new) has been overwhelming and we (all 7 of us) will be forever grateful. Much love to everyone.
NOTE TO SELF: LET THEM BE KIDS.
This weekend I had to remind myself to let my kids be kids….
Sometimes as parents we try to control situations, most of the time for our kids’ safety, but too often we try to control them to make things more convenient for us… avoiding situations that could disrupt our day, cause a little chaos, etc…
On Sunday, we went outside to ride bikes and scooters; however my kids changed their mind and decided they wanted to play in our backyard instead… We have what I think is a pretty cool backyard with a pool, a nice treehouse with a slide, and some swings in the back…a pretty fun area for a kid. My first thoughts were…. “Hmm… if we go back, I am going to have to clean up the swings… also, I may have to go back inside to get mosquito repellent (they get bad at times), this may be a pain….”
After a couple of failed attempts trying to convince the kids to stay out front and ride their bikes, I gave up. We swung for a bit and then went to the treehouse to slide… This meant I had to wipe the slide clean (had to go get Lysol and a towel)…
While the kids played in the treehouse, I took advantage of the time, cracked open a beer and proceeded to clean our pool. Since it needed some water I opened up the hose and dropped it in the pool. This was their queue to play with water!! My first reaction was “Guys, please don’t play with the water– you are going to get wet, we are going to have to get new clothes, you are going to get cold, yadda yadda yadda”… After they were initially careful due to my annoying directions, they later began to be more careless with the water… I caught myself wanting to tell them to stop but then I thought “what the heck!, what’s the worst that can happen?? They get wet. So what?!! Let them be kids. Let them have fun!”
They had a blast! They got soaked! They got a ton of things wet and even ended up without their bottoms on the shallow end of the pool (which is freezing based on my “I am a baby with cold water” standards). I had a great time watching them be kids- they couldn’t stop laughing and played wonderfully together. It was a great wake up call for me to relax and to let the kids be kids. It was a win-win for all of us and an awesome way to spend our Sunday as a family.
Thank you kiddos for continuing to teach me how to be your dad; I love you.
A great reminder to myself to let my kids be kids!
Parenting: A team sport.
This is true regardless of the number of kids you have– whether it is 1 or 5! Of course, the more kids you have the more “complex” the job could get but luckily, the more “seasoned” you are. The team chemistry has developed and the team (mom and dad) have a good idea what to do to get the job done.
This certainly applies at our house, in parenting and in life. It works differently for everyone so I am not trying to say that what we do is “the best method” (not even close)… it is just what “works” for us. Just like when it comes down to finances, for some couples a joint account is the best option, for others it’s not.
At the end of the day, we know what tasks need to be taken care of (dinner, lunch for the kids, laundry, cleaning up after the kids, getting ready for school, getting ready for night time, etc). At home, we don’t have assigned responsibilities so it really becomes a “you do this while I do that” approach. And it works. I am glad because it could be an overwhelming ordeal! We have a good team. 🙂 We work together to complete tasks, maintain a sense of balance, maintain our sanity (for the most part) and the kids are always being watched and taken care of. Also, as they grow up, they are given more responsibility and become an integral part of the team.
Oh yeah, there are days when we feel we could recruit an army to watch our kids AND still not get the job done. Sometimes when all the planets are out of whack and all 3 kids are in the “I am going to make my parents life impossible today” mood, it feels as if nothing works! It feels like a “I am going to pour me some scotch and hide for hours while I remind myself that this too shall pass” kind of day! 😉
So, hats off to single mothers and single fathers. I honestly have NO idea how you do it and how you manage to raise good kids and maintain your sanity while holding a job. Parenting has got to be one of the most challenging tasks (and of course THE most rewarding as well) and I cannot imagine doing it without my partner. I am grateful for my team.
Cheers to parenting teams! Cheers to family. Cheers to making it “work”. Whatever it takes. 🙂
“Me time” is just as important. Weekend Lessons and fun.
This weekend started off rather early for me. I had to do a delivery for a client in Indian Rocks in the morning so I started my day earlier than I wanted to, but it was worth the effort – on my way to pick up the equipment I found a Colombian Bakery and although I did not have time to stop on my way there, I made sure to stop on my way back. Around 10:30am I was back home with some yummy bakery treats for everyone!
The rest of our Saturday got busy doing stuff around the house. We finally got ready and left the house for lunch with the idea to go to Target and let the kids pick what they wanted for their Christmas list for Santa… That plan got interrupted by a lady that was interested in some of the clothes we had for sale from our failed yard sale so we went and met her instead…
At that point, the kids had started to get restless; we needed to find an activity for them or else our afternoon drama would be intense! We needed a playground and we needed it quick! Energy HAD to be burnt! 🙂 Thankfully we remembered there was a playground close to our meeting point so we headed there for a good 45 minutes.. the weather was kind of crappy so we left before we had planned…
Once home, the kids continued to play as Becca and I were trying to finish up stuff around the house… in one instance and after many times of asking the same thing from the kids and frustrated by no one following directions, I snapped… raised my voice and sent everyone to their room – not gonna lie, not my brightest moment… but I felt that my frustration was building for hours!!… Rightfully so, Becca was disappointed at me, we had a small discussion about it and she went up with the kids…. I headed to the kitchen, poured me a single malt and went to my room to practice learning the ukulele…. And while playing is where I learned my lesson…
First of all, I learned I need to work on my patience with the kiddos – sometimes I forget how young they are and I expect too much of them. I honestly need to make a conscious effort about it. I am admitting my issue and going on record so this blog can hold me accountable for my improvement.
The other lesson I learned is that sometimes we need to be “selfish” and spend some “Me time”. Before you judge me, listen up. Just like spending time with the kids is a main priority, spending time as a couple and spending time with yourself is just as important. To be able to be happy and joyful around the kids at all times, one must be happy with themselves and with each other. I really enjoyed taking 1 hour to myself to play and to just “disconnect” for a little. By the time I was done, I had time to reflect on my stupid reaction, I was able to spend time doing something I like to do for myself and was able to get back to my kids and family with a “fresh” new attitude and had a great night thereafter.
So although it is very easy to get consumed by “kid time”, as adults we need to make an effort to work on our relationship with our significant others and ourselves. We need to find a little time to fulfill our happiness as individuals and as a couple. Whether it is time throughout the day or late at night once everyone is asleep, the key is to find the time and make it count. Trust me, it transcends to the relationship with our kids and our home’s harmony.
Our Sunday was a lot of fun, we spent our morning at home being lazy followed by an awesome lunch at a local place that offers my 3 favorite things when wanting to hang out: outdoor eating, live music and beer. The kids had a blast jamming to the tunes played by the band and enjoying the nice Florida sunshine and breeze.
From there we went to a playground to get some exercise and then back home to cook dinner and get ready for the night. By then, we were ALL tired.
Stop what you are doing right now!
“Stop whatever you’re doing for a moment and ask yourself: Am I afraid of death because I won’t be able to do this anymore?” — Marcus Aurelius
I found this quote the other day and it made me think how it applies to both family life and work. When looking from above and evaluating your life, are you doing everything you love? Are you working in the area you want and doing what you love? Are you spending time with your loved ones? Are you making your time count?
I am fortunate enough to get to work on projects I love with an amazing team that allows me to be myself. No judgments. No filters.
But more importantly, I can certainly say I am afraid of death because I wouldn’t be able to spend time with my family. I would miss out on seeing my kids grow up, watching them become little people, adults, parents. I would miss out cheering them on in their accomplishments and supporting them in their struggles. Yes, I am fearful of that.
Today, especially in light of the Florida State University incidents, I spent time reflecting on my life. Although I can smile and be fearful of death, I also know that there is a lot of room for improvement, to make every moment count as if it is the last one, and to make sure that my family and friends know how much I love them and appreciate them. I love you guys.
So, thanks Marcus Aurelius. Thanks for making me stop for a moment and reflect on my life. I should do it more often.
