Those are the words Becca chose when I was staring at the Ultrasound after she had gotten back from the Dr. that afternoon. Let’s backtrack a little though…
2 weeks prior to me staring at the ultrasound, Becca mentioned she was not feeling well… Being that she had been pregnant 3 times before, I suspected she could’ve been pregnant so I bluntly asked/commented “you are not pregnant, are you!?”… to which she responded nervously… “I don’t know…”
At that point, we had not yet shut down the idea of having 4 kids, but in reality we were leaning towards “closing the shop” – the kids had been more demanding of our time, and although a lot less dependent on us, they required more direction, re-direction and parenting. They had also started extracurricular activities that demanded more time with them (gymnastics, ballet, soccer, etc).
I said, “we need to find out ASAP”– if we were having a 4th kid, we needed to know so we could plan accordingly. The list included finances, work, home arrangements, cars, baby needs, daycare, school, drop off, pick ups, night-time schedules and the list goes on and on… So, I went to Publix that same afternoon, handed over the test to Becca and waited for the results… She wasn’t ready to find out, but I could not wait any longer… so I went to the bathroom, looked for the stick, and looked at the results… My first thoughts were “f***, we are pregnant” followed with a smile and a feeling of joy with a “f***, we are really pregnant!”. I shared the news with Becca and together we experienced mixed emotions as we waited for the news to settle… After thinking, “well, we have 3 what’s a 4th one” and realizing we had all, if not most of the baby equipment needed, we felt blessed and began to embrace the idea. Becca confirmed the news that week and scheduled her follow up appointment for the following day.
This brings us to THE day…. Becca’s appointment was in the late afternoon. After she picked up the kiddos, we decided to meet at the Dr’s office parking lot. This was our 4th rodeo so we did not feel the need for me to go with her to the appointment and instead I took the kids home to make them dinner while Becca went through what we thought was a “routine check up and first ultrasound”.
After leaving the Dr’s office, Becca called me but I could not answer. She followed the missed call with a text “All is good. No need to call me back”. I continued prepping dinner so it could be ready upon her arrival… And this is where we were….
As I am staring at the ultrasound, this one seemed a little bit odd to me compared to the other 3 kids’ ultrasound images. My initial thought was a concern that there was something wrong with the baby… To me, there was more “stuff” in that picture than I had previously seen… Becca noticed my confused face and when I said “there’s more stuff than usual.. I can’t really “read it”” she said…. “You may want to sit down”… As my a** fell backwards into our kitchen stool, I said “f***, are you pregnant with twins?!?!” Becca’s eyes got a little watery and as she nodded… I was in disbelief… we both were in awe not knowing how the heck we ended up being pregnant with twins!! We don’t have any history of twins on either side of the family and we were not even ready for a 4th kid, much less a 5th!!! We held each other, nervously laughed, Becca cried a little, and as in many situations, we were able to find comfort in each other and embraced the idea and the new babies coming into our lives.
It took us a couple of weeks to let the news sink in. Every time we talked about it we could not believe our situation and discussed all the things we needed to do to prepare for their arrival. Getting used to the idea and being able to turn the corner to embrace the new challenge and adventures took time. I think it took me longer than Becca. I am (or try to be) a planner, I like to try to make sure our family is ok at all times, therefore until I got to the point where issues like finances, schooling and house arrangements were taken care of or at least planned for, I had not allowed myself the opportunity to fully embrace the arrival of our 2 little boys. I wish I had done it earlier because at this point, the more I think about raising 5 kids and the enormous amounts of memories we are going to build, I get really excited about the future and know that God has a plan for everyone. And I really like what he planned for us. 🙂
The love and positive vibes from family and close friends as well as reading blogs from parents of twins and multiple kids made it easier for us (me) to get more and more excited about the idea. Surrounding ourselves with such great support has been a key element to helping ease the transition into our new adventure and we are very thankful for everyone in our lives. Thank you.
So, Becca was right. I needed to sit down. What she forgot to mention was to buckle up because we are about to embark on the best ride of our lives! 🙂