It is 11:52pm. I am now writing this post because of the damn debacle I just went through is relatively fresh in my mind..
Yes, you read it right… sometimes I wish I had boobs because at times it seems is the only thing that would soothe the twins… and believe me when I tell you, the thought of getting boobs is not as crazy as the amount of patience and insanity required to deal with 2 crying babies at the same time and feeling helpless! So yes, I would take the temporary boobs if available. Of course they need to be fully functioning milking boobs type. I am definitely not looking for the ones that would make me look hot with a low cut shirt…;)
Anywho, back to tonight’s mayhem! Some background story first. So, the twins (6.5 months old) don’t sleep through the night yet. And before you consider sending me advice, please know that I’ve read books, articles, systems, strategies, schedules , you name it, and have even consulted our pediatrician looking for help… To my comfort (NOT) he told me some babies don’t sleep through the night until 18 months old!!! PLEASE don’t let this be me… But in the meantime I’ll do whatever we can to try to get them there. We could all use some solid back-to-back hours of sleep. I feel as if I’ve lived on interrupted sleep for the last 6+ years… oh wait! I have! (enter joke of having 5 kids in 6 years here).
So, after much research, we moved the twins upstairs to their own cribs. They slept together downstairs but just as my other 3 kids, they are horrible sleepers and cannot stay still through the night and kept waking each other up…. So with their move upstairs, we decided to feed them formula when they wake up around midnight. Formula takes longer to digest and hence they are full longer… or so we think/thought.. And of course I (Andres) would give it to them so Becca can sleep and she can get them once they wake up AGAIN around 4ish…
Instead of going to bed and having to wake up at midnight to go prep the bottles when they wake up. I’ve stayed awake so I can prep them close to midnight hoping to avoid a crazy ass fit that could potentially wake up all other 3 kids and then we are in huge trouble… So big that I don’t even want to EVER let it happen to find out…
Tonight however was different. They woke up around 11:30. I wasn’t freaking ready. And it would be ok if they would just wake up like normal people but they wake up as if someone is pinching them or if they just had a nightmare about Jason chasing them with the chainsaw and was really fu*%$&g close to catch them. That’s how they wake up! Insane.
Tonight was also unusual because since I am usually ready and prepared, I don’t let them wake up each other. Before the other wakes up and starts crying, I have the other in my arms and with a bottle in their mouth. Boom. But nope, not tonight… Tonight I had to let them cry together, freaking loud as hell, until I came back from the kitchen with their bottles. But that was just the beginning! As I raced upstairs, I came to their cribs and saw both of them screaming to the top of their lungs… I picked up Emi, shoved a bottle in his mouth and I leaned over my face so I could hold the bottle with my chin. Once I got that settled, I had to somehow feed Alejandro. So I leaned over his crib with the bottle and was able to feed him. There I was, my left arm holding Emi, my chin holding Emi’s bottle and my right arm/hand feeding Ale lying on his crib. But Emi had to take me to the “Difficulty Level B” like in the Atari 2000. He kept putting his hand on the bottle and pulling it down… all my leverage was with my chin so of course the bottle fell off his mouth and he was not having it! He screamed like crazy! My only way to stop him was to let go off Ale’s bottle, fix Emi’s bottle so he can drink and then putting the bottle back in Ale’s mouth before his screaming got out of hand…. This same thing happened 3 times! Bottle down, babies crying, me juggling babies and bottles and then figuring out a way to burp them at the same time so they could sleep.
Top top it all, why is it that every time you have your hands busy something feels itchy on your body but you can’t itch it!!! So frustrating!
So, while struggling through the feeding and dealing the best I could with my crazy overreacting yet OMG so cute babies, I thought of how much easier it would’ve been if I had boobs to feed the guys and being able to feed them 2 at a time!! It would save me a lot of headaches, probably gotten me more sleep and help me keep my sanity!
Since probably my wish will not come true, I will continue to wish the babies would sleep through the night instead of waking up screaming bloody murder!! Good night.
Helpless (and boobless) in Florida.