Parenting multiples

What they are not telling you: Pregnancy is hard on men too!

being a father Lessons learned Life Reflections Parenting multiples Pregnant with Twins

Yes, I admit it, it is much tougher on women as they have to endure the body changes, fatigue, lack of sleep, deliver the baby (or in our case babies!), etc, etc, etc. However, it takes a village! It is a long ass process… 9 months (or 10 months as my wife will correct me) of constant support, stepping up our game to cover some of the tasks previously performed mostly by our wives, helping to parent the other 3 kids AND tending to the needs and mood swings of our lovely pregnant wife 🙂 Love you babe.

I am going to go ahead and say it: It is f**ing hard and gets tiring too! Yes, my body is not going through insane changes like my wife’s, but my mind and time management is out of whack! Because a pregnant women’s energy is being consumed by the baby, they often (and deservingly) need more “down time”. This is where our role becomes more important and more tasks are added to our list. It seriously feels like I don’t have time for anything else other than coming home to cook, have dinner with my family, spend an hour or so together, clean up the house (toys everywhere), get kids ready for bed, read, practice phonics, and then back downstairs to finish up cleaning or go to bed. Rinse and repeat the next day. And No Free passes – it’s all got to get done. Thankfully, at home we have a very good team (see previous post here) and Becca, as pregnant as she is, carries a good amount of weight (pun intended) on our daily home chores.

I am thankful that Becca is an amazing pregnant woman; she is a trooper– she is active and rarely complains. Also, during all 4 pregnancies she has not had any middle of the night cravings where I need to leave the house to find a Hot Fudge Brownie with Ice Cream or some crazy stuff like that…. Her cravings are much more manageable, very few and they usually happen at lunch or dinner times (pizza, chipotle, five guys, etc.). Her Coca Cola craving is the only one that is a bit out of hand 😉 especially since it HAS to be fountain soda so there’s no way for me to be proactive and have a 2 liter handy in the house…

Needless to say, at the end of the day it is all worth it. The return on investment is astronomical, but I am not kidding… it is hard on everyone– I am sure other fathers can relate. AND consider this a warning for those men that don’t have kids yet — Yes, she is the one carrying the baby, but the weight you need to carry around the house will also get heavier.

And this is only the pre-game show…. The real deal will begin once the babies are born. Bring it! 🙂

NOTE TO SELF: LET THEM BE KIDS.

Fun with kids Lessons learned Life Reflections Parenting Milestones Parenting multiples Uncategorized Weekend Fun

This weekend I had to remind myself to let my kids be kids….

Sometimes as parents we try to control situations, most of the time for our kids’ safety, but too often we try to control them to make things more convenient for us… avoiding situations that could disrupt our day, cause a little chaos, etc…

On Sunday, we went outside to ride bikes and scooters; however my kids changed their mind and decided they wanted to play in our backyard instead… We have what I think is a pretty cool backyard with a pool, a nice treehouse with a slide, and some swings in the back…a pretty fun area for a kid. My first thoughts were…. “Hmm… if we go back, I am going to have to clean up the swings… also, I may have to go back inside to get mosquito repellent (they get bad at times), this may be a pain….”

After a couple of failed attempts trying to convince the kids to stay out front and ride their bikes, I gave up. We swung for a bit and then went to the treehouse to slide… This meant I had to wipe the slide clean (had to go get Lysol and a towel)…

While the kids played in the treehouse, I took advantage of the time, cracked open a beer and proceeded to clean our pool. Since it needed some water I opened up the hose and dropped it in the pool. This was their queue to play with water!! My first reaction was “Guys, please don’t play with the water– you are going to get wet, we are going to have to get new clothes, you are going to get cold, yadda yadda yadda”… After they were initially careful due to my annoying directions, they later began to be more careless with the water… I caught myself wanting to tell them to stop but then I thought “what the heck!, what’s the worst that can happen?? They get wet. So what?!! Let them be kids. Let them have fun!”

They had a blast! They got soaked! They got a ton of things wet and even ended up without their bottoms on the shallow end of the pool (which is freezing based on my “I am a baby with cold water” standards). I had a great time watching them be kids- they couldn’t stop laughing and played wonderfully together. It was a great wake up call for me to relax and to let the kids be kids. It was a win-win for all of us and an awesome way to spend our Sunday as a family.

Thank you kiddos for continuing to teach me how to be your dad; I love you.

A great reminder to myself to let my kids be kids!

Christmas & New Year’s break – Best ever?

Christmas 2014 Fun with kids Holiday Fun New Years 2014 Parenting multiples Pregnant with Twins Strider

Thanks to Becca’s line of work and the awesome agency I work for, we were off at the same time the kids were on Christmas break from school.

This Christmas not only brought with it the joy it usually brings, but allowed us to spend some quality time with our kids, our family and with friends (both local and visiting).

Because of how far along we are in the pregnancy (33 weeks!), we had to lay low and stay in town for the entire break. Looking back, it was probably the best thing that could’ve happened to our family. We were able to make great progress on the remodeling of the kids’ rooms and setting up the twins’ nursery and we had THE best time together. Nope, we did not do anything out of the ordinary; we did not visit any theme park or anything like that. We just stayed home, went to the beach and visited 3-4 different playgrounds to let the kids burn some energy and enjoy the amazing Florida winter weather.

Sometimes less is more and this was one of those times. We are now getting back into our “normal” groove. This week will probably be challenging trying to get the kids to “re-adjust”… but as I am losing my mind arguing with them to go to bed and trying to wake them up in the morning, I will try to remind myself (and my wife) of the awesome time we had for the past two weeks.

Here are some pics to prove it. 🙂

A proud and emotional Dad – Part 2

Children Milestones Fun with kids Parenting Milestones Parenting multiples

Although it took me longer than expected to write this post, the evening of Nati’s recital is still very vivid in my head…

A little background: Nati has been in Ballet and Tap classes for about 2 years now… for her first recital we were all very excited to see her, but she did not make it on stage! She was petrified! She was scared of all the “staring” eyes while she was on stage, so she remained offstage while the rest of her class danced- we even had the camera all ready to record only to catch a glimpse of her terrified face running off stage… The following recital, 5 months later, she performed on stage and danced and her confidence grows stronger with every performance.

Fast forward to December 15^th, 2014. Nati is taking ballet this session with her favorite teacher and she is in a small class of only 3 ballerinas. All classes are held with closed doors, including the dress rehearsal, so we have no idea what the dance is like. Her teacher had told us she was very proud and happy of all the progress they had made in the past couple of months, but we still did not know what to expect…

The only sneak peek we had was from her rehearsal day where we saw how adorable she looked in her outfit, but still had no idea about her dance…

The day of the recital came… Nati was performing to Ave Maria by Beyonce and her class was the next to last performance….

After sitting through 8-10 super cute performances from all the little dancers, it was time for Nati and her 2 friends to perform… The curtain opened and she was the first in line. My heart stopped for a few seconds– she looked so radiant, so happy, so confident. Her smile and confidence looking at the audience filled my heart with joy and pride.

Then they began to dance…. Wow… wow… wow… her lines, her rhythm, her musicality have gotten sooo good!! I am no dance expert, but I see how much progress she has made and know that her technique looked amazing for an almost 6 year old. She danced beautifully- she knew her choreography with confidence, and she even did a perfect split! :)… I was in awe the entire performance and could not stop clapping and cheering for her once the performance was over. When they came out for the final curtain… my eyes got watery… I choked a little… my baby girl had grown up right before my very eyes… Yes, her technique and dance skills have gotten so much better and we will continue to encourage her growth, but what got me the most was her confidence, seeing how much she enjoyed being on stage, no fear… she was soo happy and THAT makes ME even happier and very proud of her.

Rehearsal Day

Nati after her amazing performance. 🙂

Nati and her Ballet/Tap teacher.

Our Ballerina.

Thank you Nati for filling our hearts with joy and pride. Seeing you grow up and seeing how happy you are on stage is admirable and contagious. You continue to amaze me and I love you.

A proud and emotional Dad – Part 1

Children Milestones Fun with kids Life Reflections Parenting Milestones Parenting multiples Strider Weekend Fun

I am always proud of the amazing individuals my kids are growing up to be. But within a spam of 3 days this past week my kids put me in an emotional rollercoaster that almost brought me to tears – the great kind of tears (I can get very emotional with my kids)…

As seen on previous posts, Nico has had a Strider for about year and a half. Every time we take it for a spin he gets better and more confident. Via email I was notified our local BMX track was hosting a Strider Clinic for kids Nico’s age to ride on the big track! So we planned on attending. After delivering some baby equipment for our business, we headed out to the track with no expectations. We knew he was good at gliding down our driveway but had no idea if he would freak out about the big ramps…. (yikes).

After a quick stretch with the coaches, they taught the kids how to come off the big ramp and take the turns… Probably 10 minutes of clinic… Then up to the ramp where they had set a starting gate!

Nico at the starting gate.

They informed Nico to put his bike against the gate. “Riders ready?, Set, Go!” And off he went!! No fear! Running and pushing with his cute tiny legs he rolled down the first huge ramp and up the hill, then down another big ramp and on to the turn, to the next, etc…

When he came around with me running around the track cheering him on, he said “I want to go again!!” and off he went back to the starting gate. Amazing. Joy filled my heart. Nico was so happy and felt so accomplished. I could not get the smile off my face… We continued to cheer him on and even after a taking a couple of spills he continued and wanted to ride over and over…. We did that for 1 hour. 🙂

Needless to say, he is getting a Strider BMX jersey for Christmas and we’ll be coming back for clinics and even races!! Can’t wait to see him on the track again. We are so proud and so happy for him. Way to go Nico!

Parenting: A team sport.

Life Reflections Parenting multiples Pregnant with Twins

This is true regardless of the number of kids you have– whether it is 1 or 5! Of course, the more kids you have the more “complex” the job could get but luckily, the more “seasoned” you are. The team chemistry has developed and the team (mom and dad) have a good idea what to do to get the job done.

This certainly applies at our house, in parenting and in life. It works differently for everyone so I am not trying to say that what we do is “the best method” (not even close)… it is just what “works” for us. Just like when it comes down to finances, for some couples a joint account is the best option, for others it’s not.

At the end of the day, we know what tasks need to be taken care of (dinner, lunch for the kids, laundry, cleaning up after the kids, getting ready for school, getting ready for night time, etc). At home, we don’t have assigned responsibilities so it really becomes a “you do this while I do that” approach. And it works. I am glad because it could be an overwhelming ordeal! We have a good team. 🙂 We work together to complete tasks, maintain a sense of balance, maintain our sanity (for the most part) and the kids are always being watched and taken care of. Also, as they grow up, they are given more responsibility and become an integral part of the team.

Oh yeah, there are days when we feel we could recruit an army to watch our kids AND still not get the job done. Sometimes when all the planets are out of whack and all 3 kids are in the “I am going to make my parents life impossible today” mood, it feels as if nothing works! It feels like a “I am going to pour me some scotch and hide for hours while I remind myself that this too shall pass” kind of day! 😉

So, hats off to single mothers and single fathers. I honestly have NO idea how you do it and how you manage to raise good kids and maintain your sanity while holding a job. Parenting has got to be one of the most challenging tasks (and of course THE most rewarding as well) and I cannot imagine doing it without my partner. I am grateful for my team.

Cheers to parenting teams! Cheers to family. Cheers to making it “work”. Whatever it takes. 🙂

The wheels came off… How we ended up our week…

Children Milestones Fun with kids Parenting Milestones Parenting multiples Pregnant with Twins Weekend Fun

That’s right, after a fun week that included having the kids at the office, celebrating my mom’s (nona) birthday, spending thanksgiving surrounded by loved ones and even doing some Black Friday Shopping (I know… we thought we were crazy too – shopping with 3 kids and a pregnant mom), the wheels came off on Saturday and Sunday— Nati’s bicycle training wheels that is.

Yes! After pushing it off for so many weekends, we finally committed to making it happen this weekend. Saturday afternoon we decided to take the bikes out to teach Nati how to ride without the assistance of training wheels… This was the first time I had taught someone how to ride a bike, so it was a first for both of us and I had no idea how it was going to go down…

After removing the wheels and adjusting her seat, we started off with me holding the back of her seat. After a couple of rides in front of our house and reminding her to “keep her balance” (which I read after the fact is one of the worst things you can say when trying to teach someone to ride a bike – of course…) we took a break and when we got back into it, I held less onto the seat while helping maneuver the seat to correct her balance…

After a good 20 minutes or so, I was able to let go for a second or two at a time without letting her know about it…. (all while running next to her). Little by little we both got better at it and finally I was able to let go for longer periods of time!

When I was able to let go for probably 5 seconds and then stopped the bike, I was SO happy for her! I got on my knees next to her, high fived her and gave her a huge hug for her awesome accomplishment!! She was so happy. I was so proud. She was so proud. Truthfully, I was probably more excited than she was. 🙂

I still picture that moment. The moment where she smiled back at me and we both realized she now knew how to ride a bike; it will be a moment I will never forget. It was such a great accomplishment for both of us and I will forever cherish those few seconds when we cheered and held each other in celebration.

That moment also reminds me of how awesome and rewarding it is to raise kids. The thought of so many more moments like these with Nati and our other children fills my heart with joy and anticipation for the future.

Nati will be the one that will pave the road for the other kids and the one that will fill our lives with a lot of “firsts”. She is also the one that with her life experiences will teach us how to be better parents and be better prepared for when her siblings experience similar things growing up.

So Thank You, Nati. Thanks for that amazing moment, for the many more moments to come, and for helping us weave through the parenting maze. We love you.

20 conventional and unconventional things I am thankful for.

General Lessons learned Life Reflections Parenting multiples Uncategorized

At first, the idea of writing 20 things I am thankful for sounded like a lot… but when I began to write them I realized the list could’ve been much much longer… Regardless, here is my list of 10 conventional and 10 unconventional things I am thankful for:

God: for guiding, protecting and keeping my family safe.
Becca: for being the best teammate ever in the game of raising kids, for being my rock, the supporter of my dreams but yet the one that brings me down to earth when I dream too much 😉
Nati, Nico, Santi and our 2 baby boys that will join us soon. For bringing so much joy into our lives, for being one of the main reasons I do a lot of what I do, for being an inspiration, for reminding me to be foolish and not take life so seriously, for being kids, and for seeing everyone for who they are, not what they look like. Among many other things.
Our family: For being the support system around us. For loving our kids unconditionally. For being there when we need you.
Our health: because we’ve been fortunate enough to have healthy children and have managed to stay healthy ourselves. I value that a lot!
Our friends: For helping us build memories. For sharing laughs. For listening. For not judging. For genuinely wanting us to be happy. The feeling is mutual.
My work family: For allowing me to do what I love while being myself 100% of the time.
Woolly Mammoth/Ultimate Community: For keeping my competitive spirit and the love for team sports alive. Woolly: for pushing me. For being one of the main reasons I exercise – for giving me a goal to work towards. For showing me, ourselves and others how working in unity towards one goal and under one mission can turn into huge accomplishments. For being the only place I can party barefoot without people making comments about my bruised or non-existent toe nails 🙂 (inside joke)
Our small business (packlessplaymore.com – shameless plug), for allowing me to live my entrepreneurial dream. For challenging me on how to grow the business, how to reach more people, how to better our service, etc.. For supporting our family financially.
YMCA Trainers: For teaching me how much fun it is to workout as a team.
Al Gore: For inventing the internet ;)… I have no idea what I’d do without it!
Facebook (although I am more of an Instagramer): For allowing me to connect with family and friends around the world. If it was not for FB I would have no idea how everyone is doing and wouldn’t be able to enjoy watching their families grow and cheer them on their accomplishments.
Taylor Swift: For reminding us that sometimes you just got to “Shake it off”
College Basketball/March Madness: For being the most exciting sport to watch and the best tournament in the World! Ok…the World Cup is better but March Madness is every year!! Go KU!
Pacifiers: You have no idea how many “oh sh*t he/she is going crazy!” have turned into peaceful and manageable situations… Yes, getting rid of them could be a pain in the a** but definitely worth it when looking back!
Disney World: For providing my kids with magical moments and ever lasting smiles. For allowing us to enjoy in awe their joy and happiness. That’s what it’s all about.
Single Malts and/or Beer: For being the best “decompressing” partner at the end of the day. No matter how rough of a day it was at work or with the kids.
Netflix: For calming my kids down any place, any time. For turning a crappy situation into a not-so-crappy. Sh*t going crazy? Whip out the phone/tablet and put on Netflix. Want them to take a nap while driving? Whip out the good’ol Netflix. Oh yeah, and for allowing me to watch shows & movies I never had the time to watch (and still don’t but at least it gives me peace of mind there is an option).
Miley Cyrus: For reminding me that raising girls is a complex thing… And for giving me perspective on what NOT to do.
Music/ukulele/Youtube: Ran out of room so last one is bundled up. Music for the good vibes. Ukulele.. because it allows me to think there is hope in the world and I may be able to play an instrument. Youtube: for posting tutorials on “how to play the ukulele”.

Happy Thanksgiving!

“Me time” is just as important. Weekend Lessons and fun.

Lessons learned Life Reflections Parenting multiples Pregnant with Twins Weekend Fun

This weekend started off rather early for me. I had to do a delivery for a client in Indian Rocks in the morning so I started my day earlier than I wanted to, but it was worth the effort – on my way to pick up the equipment I found a Colombian Bakery and although I did not have time to stop on my way there, I made sure to stop on my way back. Around 10:30am I was back home with some yummy bakery treats for everyone!

The rest of our Saturday got busy doing stuff around the house. We finally got ready and left the house for lunch with the idea to go to Target and let the kids pick what they wanted for their Christmas list for Santa… That plan got interrupted by a lady that was interested in some of the clothes we had for sale from our failed yard sale so we went and met her instead…

At that point, the kids had started to get restless; we needed to find an activity for them or else our afternoon drama would be intense! We needed a playground and we needed it quick! Energy HAD to be burnt! 🙂 Thankfully we remembered there was a playground close to our meeting point so we headed there for a good 45 minutes.. the weather was kind of crappy so we left before we had planned…

Once home, the kids continued to play as Becca and I were trying to finish up stuff around the house… in one instance and after many times of asking the same thing from the kids and frustrated by no one following directions, I snapped… raised my voice and sent everyone to their room – not gonna lie, not my brightest moment… but I felt that my frustration was building for hours!!… Rightfully so, Becca was disappointed at me, we had a small discussion about it and she went up with the kids…. I headed to the kitchen, poured me a single malt and went to my room to practice learning the ukulele…. And while playing is where I learned my lesson…

First of all, I learned I need to work on my patience with the kiddos – sometimes I forget how young they are and I expect too much of them. I honestly need to make a conscious effort about it. I am admitting my issue and going on record so this blog can hold me accountable for my improvement.

The other lesson I learned is that sometimes we need to be “selfish” and spend some “Me time”. Before you judge me, listen up. Just like spending time with the kids is a main priority, spending time as a couple and spending time with yourself is just as important. To be able to be happy and joyful around the kids at all times, one must be happy with themselves and with each other. I really enjoyed taking 1 hour to myself to play and to just “disconnect” for a little. By the time I was done, I had time to reflect on my stupid reaction, I was able to spend time doing something I like to do for myself and was able to get back to my kids and family with a “fresh” new attitude and had a great night thereafter.

So although it is very easy to get consumed by “kid time”, as adults we need to make an effort to work on our relationship with our significant others and ourselves. We need to find a little time to fulfill our happiness as individuals and as a couple. Whether it is time throughout the day or late at night once everyone is asleep, the key is to find the time and make it count. Trust me, it transcends to the relationship with our kids and our home’s harmony.

Our Sunday was a lot of fun, we spent our morning at home being lazy followed by an awesome lunch at a local place that offers my 3 favorite things when wanting to hang out: outdoor eating, live music and beer. The kids had a blast jamming to the tunes played by the band and enjoying the nice Florida sunshine and breeze.

From there we went to a playground to get some exercise and then back home to cook dinner and get ready for the night. By then, we were ALL tired.

Stop what you are doing right now!

General Life Reflections Parenting multiples Quotes Uncategorized

“Stop whatever you’re doing for a moment and ask yourself: Am I afraid of death because I won’t be able to do this anymore?” — Marcus Aurelius

I found this quote the other day and it made me think how it applies to both family life and work. When looking from above and evaluating your life, are you doing everything you love? Are you working in the area you want and doing what you love? Are you spending time with your loved ones? Are you making your time count?

I am fortunate enough to get to work on projects I love with an amazing team that allows me to be myself. No judgments. No filters.

But more importantly, I can certainly say I am afraid of death because I wouldn’t be able to spend time with my family. I would miss out on seeing my kids grow up, watching them become little people, adults, parents. I would miss out cheering them on in their accomplishments and supporting them in their struggles. Yes, I am fearful of that.

Today, especially in light of the Florida State University incidents, I spent time reflecting on my life. Although I can smile and be fearful of death, I also know that there is a lot of room for improvement, to make every moment count as if it is the last one, and to make sure that my family and friends know how much I love them and appreciate them. I love you guys.

So, thanks Marcus Aurelius. Thanks for making me stop for a moment and reflect on my life. I should do it more often.