Parenting multiples

NOTE TO SELF: LET THEM BE KIDS.

Fun with kids Lessons learned Life Reflections Parenting Milestones Parenting multiples Uncategorized Weekend Fun

This weekend I had to remind myself to let my kids be kids….

Sometimes as parents we try to control situations, most of the time for our kids’ safety, but too often we try to control them to make things more convenient for us… avoiding situations that could disrupt our day, cause a little chaos, etc…

On Sunday, we went outside to ride bikes and scooters; however my kids changed their mind and decided they wanted to play in our backyard instead… We have what I think is a pretty cool backyard with a pool, a nice treehouse with a slide, and some swings in the back…a pretty fun area for a kid. My first thoughts were…. “Hmm… if we go back, I am going to have to clean up the swings… also, I may have to go back inside to get mosquito repellent (they get bad at times), this may be a pain….”

After a couple of failed attempts trying to convince the kids to stay out front and ride their bikes, I gave up. We swung for a bit and then went to the treehouse to slide… This meant I had to wipe the slide clean (had to go get Lysol and a towel)…

While the kids played in the treehouse, I took advantage of the time, cracked open a beer and proceeded to clean our pool. Since it needed some water I opened up the hose and dropped it in the pool. This was their queue to play with water!! My first reaction was “Guys, please don’t play with the water– you are going to get wet, we are going to have to get new clothes, you are going to get cold, yadda yadda yadda”… After they were initially careful due to my annoying directions, they later began to be more careless with the water… I caught myself wanting to tell them to stop but then I thought “what the heck!, what’s the worst that can happen?? They get wet. So what?!! Let them be kids. Let them have fun!”

They had a blast! They got soaked! They got a ton of things wet and even ended up without their bottoms on the shallow end of the pool (which is freezing based on my “I am a baby with cold water” standards). I had a great time watching them be kids- they couldn’t stop laughing and played wonderfully together. It was a great wake up call for me to relax and to let the kids be kids. It was a win-win for all of us and an awesome way to spend our Sunday as a family.

Thank you kiddos for continuing to teach me how to be your dad; I love you.

A great reminder to myself to let my kids be kids!

Christmas & New Year’s break – Best ever?

Christmas 2014 Fun with kids Holiday Fun New Years 2014 Parenting multiples Pregnant with Twins Strider

Thanks to Becca’s line of work and the awesome agency I work for, we were off at the same time the kids were on Christmas break from school.

This Christmas not only brought with it the joy it usually brings, but allowed us to spend some quality time with our kids, our family and with friends (both local and visiting).

Because of how far along we are in the pregnancy (33 weeks!), we had to lay low and stay in town for the entire break. Looking back, it was probably the best thing that could’ve happened to our family. We were able to make great progress on the remodeling of the kids’ rooms and setting up the twins’ nursery and we had THE best time together. Nope, we did not do anything out of the ordinary; we did not visit any theme park or anything like that. We just stayed home, went to the beach and visited 3-4 different playgrounds to let the kids burn some energy and enjoy the amazing Florida winter weather.

Sometimes less is more and this was one of those times. We are now getting back into our “normal” groove. This week will probably be challenging trying to get the kids to “re-adjust”… but as I am losing my mind arguing with them to go to bed and trying to wake them up in the morning, I will try to remind myself (and my wife) of the awesome time we had for the past two weeks.

Here are some pics to prove it. 🙂

A proud and emotional Dad – Part 2

Children Milestones Fun with kids Parenting Milestones Parenting multiples

Although it took me longer than expected to write this post, the evening of Nati’s recital is still very vivid in my head…

A little background: Nati has been in Ballet and Tap classes for about 2 years now… for her first recital we were all very excited to see her, but she did not make it on stage! She was petrified! She was scared of all the “staring” eyes while she was on stage, so she remained offstage while the rest of her class danced- we even had the camera all ready to record only to catch a glimpse of her terrified face running off stage… The following recital, 5 months later, she performed on stage and danced and her confidence grows stronger with every performance.

Fast forward to December 15^th, 2014. Nati is taking ballet this session with her favorite teacher and she is in a small class of only 3 ballerinas. All classes are held with closed doors, including the dress rehearsal, so we have no idea what the dance is like. Her teacher had told us she was very proud and happy of all the progress they had made in the past couple of months, but we still did not know what to expect…

The only sneak peek we had was from her rehearsal day where we saw how adorable she looked in her outfit, but still had no idea about her dance…

The day of the recital came… Nati was performing to Ave Maria by Beyonce and her class was the next to last performance….

After sitting through 8-10 super cute performances from all the little dancers, it was time for Nati and her 2 friends to perform… The curtain opened and she was the first in line. My heart stopped for a few seconds– she looked so radiant, so happy, so confident. Her smile and confidence looking at the audience filled my heart with joy and pride.

Then they began to dance…. Wow… wow… wow… her lines, her rhythm, her musicality have gotten sooo good!! I am no dance expert, but I see how much progress she has made and know that her technique looked amazing for an almost 6 year old. She danced beautifully- she knew her choreography with confidence, and she even did a perfect split! :)… I was in awe the entire performance and could not stop clapping and cheering for her once the performance was over. When they came out for the final curtain… my eyes got watery… I choked a little… my baby girl had grown up right before my very eyes… Yes, her technique and dance skills have gotten so much better and we will continue to encourage her growth, but what got me the most was her confidence, seeing how much she enjoyed being on stage, no fear… she was soo happy and THAT makes ME even happier and very proud of her.

Rehearsal Day

Nati after her amazing performance. 🙂

Nati and her Ballet/Tap teacher.

Our Ballerina.

Thank you Nati for filling our hearts with joy and pride. Seeing you grow up and seeing how happy you are on stage is admirable and contagious. You continue to amaze me and I love you.

Parenting: A team sport.

Life Reflections Parenting multiples Pregnant with Twins

This is true regardless of the number of kids you have– whether it is 1 or 5! Of course, the more kids you have the more “complex” the job could get but luckily, the more “seasoned” you are. The team chemistry has developed and the team (mom and dad) have a good idea what to do to get the job done.

This certainly applies at our house, in parenting and in life. It works differently for everyone so I am not trying to say that what we do is “the best method” (not even close)… it is just what “works” for us. Just like when it comes down to finances, for some couples a joint account is the best option, for others it’s not.

At the end of the day, we know what tasks need to be taken care of (dinner, lunch for the kids, laundry, cleaning up after the kids, getting ready for school, getting ready for night time, etc). At home, we don’t have assigned responsibilities so it really becomes a “you do this while I do that” approach. And it works. I am glad because it could be an overwhelming ordeal! We have a good team. 🙂 We work together to complete tasks, maintain a sense of balance, maintain our sanity (for the most part) and the kids are always being watched and taken care of. Also, as they grow up, they are given more responsibility and become an integral part of the team.

Oh yeah, there are days when we feel we could recruit an army to watch our kids AND still not get the job done. Sometimes when all the planets are out of whack and all 3 kids are in the “I am going to make my parents life impossible today” mood, it feels as if nothing works! It feels like a “I am going to pour me some scotch and hide for hours while I remind myself that this too shall pass” kind of day! 😉

So, hats off to single mothers and single fathers. I honestly have NO idea how you do it and how you manage to raise good kids and maintain your sanity while holding a job. Parenting has got to be one of the most challenging tasks (and of course THE most rewarding as well) and I cannot imagine doing it without my partner. I am grateful for my team.

Cheers to parenting teams! Cheers to family. Cheers to making it “work”. Whatever it takes. 🙂

The wheels came off… How we ended up our week…

Children Milestones Fun with kids Parenting Milestones Parenting multiples Pregnant with Twins Weekend Fun

That’s right, after a fun week that included having the kids at the office, celebrating my mom’s (nona) birthday, spending thanksgiving surrounded by loved ones and even doing some Black Friday Shopping (I know… we thought we were crazy too – shopping with 3 kids and a pregnant mom), the wheels came off on Saturday and Sunday— Nati’s bicycle training wheels that is.

Yes! After pushing it off for so many weekends, we finally committed to making it happen this weekend. Saturday afternoon we decided to take the bikes out to teach Nati how to ride without the assistance of training wheels… This was the first time I had taught someone how to ride a bike, so it was a first for both of us and I had no idea how it was going to go down…

After removing the wheels and adjusting her seat, we started off with me holding the back of her seat. After a couple of rides in front of our house and reminding her to “keep her balance” (which I read after the fact is one of the worst things you can say when trying to teach someone to ride a bike – of course…) we took a break and when we got back into it, I held less onto the seat while helping maneuver the seat to correct her balance…

After a good 20 minutes or so, I was able to let go for a second or two at a time without letting her know about it…. (all while running next to her). Little by little we both got better at it and finally I was able to let go for longer periods of time!

When I was able to let go for probably 5 seconds and then stopped the bike, I was SO happy for her! I got on my knees next to her, high fived her and gave her a huge hug for her awesome accomplishment!! She was so happy. I was so proud. She was so proud. Truthfully, I was probably more excited than she was. 🙂

I still picture that moment. The moment where she smiled back at me and we both realized she now knew how to ride a bike; it will be a moment I will never forget. It was such a great accomplishment for both of us and I will forever cherish those few seconds when we cheered and held each other in celebration.

That moment also reminds me of how awesome and rewarding it is to raise kids. The thought of so many more moments like these with Nati and our other children fills my heart with joy and anticipation for the future.

Nati will be the one that will pave the road for the other kids and the one that will fill our lives with a lot of “firsts”. She is also the one that with her life experiences will teach us how to be better parents and be better prepared for when her siblings experience similar things growing up.

So Thank You, Nati. Thanks for that amazing moment, for the many more moments to come, and for helping us weave through the parenting maze. We love you.

“Me time” is just as important. Weekend Lessons and fun.

Lessons learned Life Reflections Parenting multiples Pregnant with Twins Weekend Fun

This weekend started off rather early for me. I had to do a delivery for a client in Indian Rocks in the morning so I started my day earlier than I wanted to, but it was worth the effort – on my way to pick up the equipment I found a Colombian Bakery and although I did not have time to stop on my way there, I made sure to stop on my way back. Around 10:30am I was back home with some yummy bakery treats for everyone!

The rest of our Saturday got busy doing stuff around the house. We finally got ready and left the house for lunch with the idea to go to Target and let the kids pick what they wanted for their Christmas list for Santa… That plan got interrupted by a lady that was interested in some of the clothes we had for sale from our failed yard sale so we went and met her instead…

At that point, the kids had started to get restless; we needed to find an activity for them or else our afternoon drama would be intense! We needed a playground and we needed it quick! Energy HAD to be burnt! 🙂 Thankfully we remembered there was a playground close to our meeting point so we headed there for a good 45 minutes.. the weather was kind of crappy so we left before we had planned…

Once home, the kids continued to play as Becca and I were trying to finish up stuff around the house… in one instance and after many times of asking the same thing from the kids and frustrated by no one following directions, I snapped… raised my voice and sent everyone to their room – not gonna lie, not my brightest moment… but I felt that my frustration was building for hours!!… Rightfully so, Becca was disappointed at me, we had a small discussion about it and she went up with the kids…. I headed to the kitchen, poured me a single malt and went to my room to practice learning the ukulele…. And while playing is where I learned my lesson…

First of all, I learned I need to work on my patience with the kiddos – sometimes I forget how young they are and I expect too much of them. I honestly need to make a conscious effort about it. I am admitting my issue and going on record so this blog can hold me accountable for my improvement.

The other lesson I learned is that sometimes we need to be “selfish” and spend some “Me time”. Before you judge me, listen up. Just like spending time with the kids is a main priority, spending time as a couple and spending time with yourself is just as important. To be able to be happy and joyful around the kids at all times, one must be happy with themselves and with each other. I really enjoyed taking 1 hour to myself to play and to just “disconnect” for a little. By the time I was done, I had time to reflect on my stupid reaction, I was able to spend time doing something I like to do for myself and was able to get back to my kids and family with a “fresh” new attitude and had a great night thereafter.

So although it is very easy to get consumed by “kid time”, as adults we need to make an effort to work on our relationship with our significant others and ourselves. We need to find a little time to fulfill our happiness as individuals and as a couple. Whether it is time throughout the day or late at night once everyone is asleep, the key is to find the time and make it count. Trust me, it transcends to the relationship with our kids and our home’s harmony.

Our Sunday was a lot of fun, we spent our morning at home being lazy followed by an awesome lunch at a local place that offers my 3 favorite things when wanting to hang out: outdoor eating, live music and beer. The kids had a blast jamming to the tunes played by the band and enjoying the nice Florida sunshine and breeze.

From there we went to a playground to get some exercise and then back home to cook dinner and get ready for the night. By then, we were ALL tired.

Stop what you are doing right now!

General Life Reflections Parenting multiples Quotes Uncategorized

“Stop whatever you’re doing for a moment and ask yourself: Am I afraid of death because I won’t be able to do this anymore?” — Marcus Aurelius

I found this quote the other day and it made me think how it applies to both family life and work. When looking from above and evaluating your life, are you doing everything you love? Are you working in the area you want and doing what you love? Are you spending time with your loved ones? Are you making your time count?

I am fortunate enough to get to work on projects I love with an amazing team that allows me to be myself. No judgments. No filters.

But more importantly, I can certainly say I am afraid of death because I wouldn’t be able to spend time with my family. I would miss out on seeing my kids grow up, watching them become little people, adults, parents. I would miss out cheering them on in their accomplishments and supporting them in their struggles. Yes, I am fearful of that.

Today, especially in light of the Florida State University incidents, I spent time reflecting on my life. Although I can smile and be fearful of death, I also know that there is a lot of room for improvement, to make every moment count as if it is the last one, and to make sure that my family and friends know how much I love them and appreciate them. I love you guys.

So, thanks Marcus Aurelius. Thanks for making me stop for a moment and reflect on my life. I should do it more often.

Our Yard Sale debacle…and the rest of the weekend.

Fun with kids Parenting multiples Weekend Fun yard sale

Sigh… where to start..

I guess, first of all this whole thing went down because since we now know that our twins are boys and we have “closed the shop”, there is no need to keep hanging on to Nati’s clothes.

This led us to look for what we had…. Which led us to find 10 full containers in the attic (always fun getting up there in a hot day… NOT) with clothes ranging from Newborn to 4T. Pants, onesies, jackets, shorts, skirts, shoes, sandals, blankets, warm PJs, light PJs, matching outfits, non-matching outfits, etc, etc, etc…

After a couple of afternoons and nights sorting through all these things and “categorizing” them, we were finally ready – or so we thought. We did not realize we had that much stuff! We had 3 tables full of pants/shorts, another one with shirts and a third one with dresses.. We also had 4 containers full of onesies, pjs, matching outfits and about 50 pairs of shoes/sandals to lay next to the tables.

I know that for most people this may sound like a piece of cake… well, let me tell you, add 3 kids and a missing wife (gone for the day at a school venue prior to pulling the tables out on the driveway) and the whole thing was not that much fun…

But wait there’s more! The day before, Becca and I decided that it would be cute to have the kids sell cupcakes and water to our visitors AND that would keep them busy while I “worked the sales floor”….

So in addition to the whole tables/containers/shoes setup, we also had to setup their sales stand.

And then we waited… and waited… A couple of go-byers here and there… after a lot of sitting around waiting for customers, we realized that our neighborhood did not really cater to young families (the average age in my neighborhood is probably 70 – and that’s because a couple of young families have moved in…:) ) and most of the people that came by were older people looking for home stuff and every now and then for stuff for their grandkids.

We did get some customers and ended selling $100+ but we still have 90% of our stuff!! Now the task continues as we try to sell these things on Facebook groups and consignment stores… sigh… I hope all the time spent on this is all worth it at the end… definitely the time spent and stress associated with this yard sale was NOT! But oh well, we live, we learn…. It was our first and more than likely our last!

P.S – the neighborhood yard sale was the whole weekend.. we woke up early, got ready to make one final push… but… when I stepped out of the house, the streets were dead and no one had set up their yard sales… So, I turned back around and went on with our day.

“You may want to sit down” – The day we found out we were having a total of 5 kids!

Parenting multiples Pregnant with Twins

Those are the words Becca chose when I was staring at the Ultrasound after she had gotten back from the Dr. that afternoon. Let’s backtrack a little though…

2 weeks prior to me staring at the ultrasound, Becca mentioned she was not feeling well… Being that she had been pregnant 3 times before, I suspected she could’ve been pregnant so I bluntly asked/commented “you are not pregnant, are you!?”… to which she responded nervously… “I don’t know…”

At that point, we had not yet shut down the idea of having 4 kids, but in reality we were leaning towards “closing the shop” – the kids had been more demanding of our time, and although a lot less dependent on us, they required more direction, re-direction and parenting. They had also started extracurricular activities that demanded more time with them (gymnastics, ballet, soccer, etc).

I said, “we need to find out ASAP”– if we were having a 4^th kid, we needed to know so we could plan accordingly. The list included finances, work, home arrangements, cars, baby needs, daycare, school, drop off, pick ups, night-time schedules and the list goes on and on… So, I went to Publix that same afternoon, handed over the test to Becca and waited for the results… She wasn’t ready to find out, but I could not wait any longer… so I went to the bathroom, looked for the stick, and looked at the results… My first thoughts were “f***, we are pregnant” followed with a smile and a feeling of joy with a “f***, we are really pregnant!”. I shared the news with Becca and together we experienced mixed emotions as we waited for the news to settle… After thinking, “well, we have 3 what’s a 4^th one” and realizing we had all, if not most of the baby equipment needed, we felt blessed and began to embrace the idea. Becca confirmed the news that week and scheduled her follow up appointment for the following day.

This brings us to THE day…. Becca’s appointment was in the late afternoon. After she picked up the kiddos, we decided to meet at the Dr’s office parking lot. This was our 4^th rodeo so we did not feel the need for me to go with her to the appointment and instead I took the kids home to make them dinner while Becca went through what we thought was a “routine check up and first ultrasound”.

After leaving the Dr’s office, Becca called me but I could not answer. She followed the missed call with a text “All is good. No need to call me back”. I continued prepping dinner so it could be ready upon her arrival… And this is where we were….

As I am staring at the ultrasound, this one seemed a little bit odd to me compared to the other 3 kids’ ultrasound images. My initial thought was a concern that there was something wrong with the baby… To me, there was more “stuff” in that picture than I had previously seen… Becca noticed my confused face and when I said “there’s more stuff than usual.. I can’t really “read it”” she said…. “You may want to sit down”… As my a** fell backwards into our kitchen stool, I said “f***, are you pregnant with twins?!?!” Becca’s eyes got a little watery and as she nodded… I was in disbelief… we both were in awe not knowing how the heck we ended up being pregnant with twins!! We don’t have any history of twins on either side of the family and we were not even ready for a 4^th kid, much less a 5^th!!! We held each other, nervously laughed, Becca cried a little, and as in many situations, we were able to find comfort in each other and embraced the idea and the new babies coming into our lives.

It took us a couple of weeks to let the news sink in. Every time we talked about it we could not believe our situation and discussed all the things we needed to do to prepare for their arrival. Getting used to the idea and being able to turn the corner to embrace the new challenge and adventures took time. I think it took me longer than Becca. I am (or try to be) a planner, I like to try to make sure our family is ok at all times, therefore until I got to the point where issues like finances, schooling and house arrangements were taken care of or at least planned for, I had not allowed myself the opportunity to fully embrace the arrival of our 2 little boys. I wish I had done it earlier because at this point, the more I think about raising 5 kids and the enormous amounts of memories we are going to build, I get really excited about the future and know that God has a plan for everyone. And I really like what he planned for us. 🙂

The love and positive vibes from family and close friends as well as reading blogs from parents of twins and multiple kids made it easier for us (me) to get more and more excited about the idea. Surrounding ourselves with such great support has been a key element to helping ease the transition into our new adventure and we are very thankful for everyone in our lives. Thank you.

So, Becca was right. I needed to sit down. What she forgot to mention was to buckle up because we are about to embark on the best ride of our lives! 🙂

B rocking her pregnancy - 26 weeks in :)

Becca has been a trooper throughout her pregnancy. She makes it look easy… Maybe that’s why we keep having kids? JK.

Theme Parks with 3 kids? Are you crazy?!

Fun with kids Theme Parks with kids Weekend Fun

Ever since we decided to have 3 kids (and sometimes even when we had only 2), we are often asked by other parents in a sarcastic tone… “How do you do it?” – especially if we meet at a public venue like a theme park, the beach, etc.

I know most times this question is founded on the common frustrations us parents experience when things get “a little out of hand” and the thought of it coming from more than 2 kids is baffling and overwhelming 🙂 .. Trust me, we get those moments too (some days more than we’d like), and yes, some days dealing with 3 kids (or even one at times) could be overwhelming, frustrating, helpless and just like every other parent we feel like locking ourselves in a room, removing ourselves from the situation (adult “time out”), counting to 10 or 10,000 and come back when everything is back to “normal”.

Regardless of the tough times, the moments of joy, indescribable love and happiness our kids bring into our lives, by far upset those frustrating moments and make it ALL worth it. When people asked me if we were crazy when we decided to have Santi, I responded: “If I am able to replicate the joy each one of my kids brings to our lives, why wouldn’t I do it?”

A great example is the amazing time we had at Busch Gardens a couple of weeks back – two weekends in a row. Becca was able to land some free tickets that expired at the end of October so we had to use them. With Becca not being able to ride rollercoasters, our main focus for the park visit was the kids having fun. So we headed straight to Elmo’s World on Day 1 and on Day 2 we explored other sides of the park and I even got to ride Falcon’s Fury (amazing).

As with season passes, we approached our day with a laid back attitude, not rushing anything, not trying to ride all the rides or see all the shows… if we had the chance, great – if not, oh well, there’s always next time ;). The kids had an awesome time. They loved riding little rides, going over rope bridges, playing “carnival” games, watching the animals, playing in the splash park and even watching their dad drop from 300 feet on Falcon’s Fury. A total success.

Being a family of 5 – soon to be 7 – has never stopped us from enjoying any activities, au contraire, we enjoy them even more. We kind of have a “system” and an attitude that works for us and we have amazing times together.

Keep bringing on the adventures. Will they be challenging at times? No doubt. Will it be worth it at the end? You are darn right!